


all I know, all I know (loving you is a losing game)

by majorstallmadge



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Minor Panic Attack While on a Ride, Romance, Teeth Rotten Fluff, Themed Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorstallmadge/pseuds/majorstallmadge
Summary: Michael would never admit it out loud, but he is absolutely afraid of anything even remotely scary. Halloween truly is the stuff of nightmares to him. With that being said, it is no wonder that his heart is pounding so fast he is afraid he might faint. All because he got roped into going to Roswell’s Horrorland.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	all I know, all I know (loving you is a losing game)

**Author's Note:**

> I know it’s December and I am posting a Halloween fic but that's just how my muse works and I can't do much about it, but I hope you guys enjoy this.
> 
> I would like to dedicate this story to all the ladies and gents in Sander’s Auto and Junkyard chat. You guys hardly knew me, and I vanished for months but you all took me back like nothing was amiss and have been listening to my rants and being a daily joy to interact with. The only reason this story is actually here is because of your support. So thank you so much!
> 
> By the way: happy birthday @grasonas! You won't tell us when it is but feel free to think this as your birthday gift as well!
> 
> Special thanks to @hanna-writes. You do wonders for my stories and I am forever grateful that you take some of your precious time to make my stories even better and on the correct tense!
> 
> ps: title is a pice of the lyrics of Arcade by Duncan Laurence (eurovision fans will get it)

Michael would never admit it out loud, but he is absolutely afraid of anything even remotely scary. Halloween truly is the stuff of nightmares to him. With that being said, it is no wonder that his heart is pounding so fast he is afraid he might faint. All because he got roped into going to Roswell’s Horrorland.

As if the city’s reputation of alien activity wasn’t enough, it was decided that Roswell should also be the place for all fans of horror and aliens to go to on Halloween (Michael could actually punch whoever had that idea in the first place). Hence the new alien haunted themed park right on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by the eerie New Mexico desert.

It was just his luck that his boyfriend was not only an alien enthusiast (he is dating Michael, after all) but also a huge fan of Halloween. Almost obsessively.

Michael really didn’t get it and was absolutely positively-one-hundred-per-cent-a-fucking-fraid. The cherry on the top is that no one knows this. If people think that being an actual alien is his biggest secret, they have another thing coming their way.

He is secure in his masculinity, but admitting this secret out loud feels very… well,  _ emasculating _ . Plus, no one would ever let him down gently for this. He would be bulldozed by their teasing, and Alex? Alex would be merciless; he is sure of it.

So, thanks but no thanks. He will keep a death grip on his jacket pocket and pray to any and all gods that might listen to keep his other hand from sweating too much into Alex’s.

“Come on, Guerin!” Alex’s gleeful laughter distracts him from his death infused trance as they stroll inside the gates of the themed park alongside their friends. The younger man was pulling him through their joined hands with the excitement of a child on Christmas day and Michael had to keep the butterflies in his stomach in check. Sadly, for him, the butterflies had more to do with the fact that he might, in reality, throw up than adoration over Alex’s childish delight.

Michael really thought he could survive this night with careful dodging and fake enjoyment, but he could feel in his gut that this was going to be a disaster. 

The things he did for love, really.

Before he could quite grasp what was going on – the flashing lights, bright neon paint everywhere and fake smoke impairing his senses – they were next in line to board a ride called “Moon Base”. Initially, the name sounded non-threatening to Michael, but the closer they got to the ride’s entry gate, the louder the screams were and sweat started to exude from him in buckets. He had no idea how Alex hadn't noticed how wet he was through his clothes.

His friends were chatting excitedly in front of him, but Michael felt like the room was spinning around in slow motion and noises seemed far away from him. He could already feel a peculiar wave of nausea in the pit of his stomach.

“Michael, come on!” Alex urged, pulling him by his wrist and he hummed in agreement, as that was all form of communication he could muster.

His feet seemed to have a life of their own as they led him to his seat, next to Alex’s. He buckled his belt in a trance, the muscles in his jaw clenching in anticipation. As it turned out the ride consisted of an elevator drop, it raised you all the way to the top, dropping down one floor at a time. At every floor the room would shake and cast members dressed in costumes from a 1980s style gory alien movie would come out to scare the people on the ride.

His hand clutched the railings on his seat, knuckles turning white as the metal creases and cracks beneath his palm. 

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck _ Michael thought. This was literally the worst thing that has ever happened to him and they were still going up.

Only when the ride finally started its doomed way down and Michael started screaming bloody murder did Alex and the others close to him finally noticed that, in fact, he was not enjoying the ride.

“Michael, are you okay?” Alex yelled at him, trying to get his voice over the noise of the ride and other peoples screams, but all he was able to do was to keep his eyes tightly shut and scream at the top of his lungs as blood thumped in his ears.

“Michael???” Alex's voice was frantic and he felt his boyfriend’s hand reach into his, but the warmth of the other man’s fingers was not enough to calm his hammering heart down.

“Fuck, we need to stop this ride,” was the last thing Michael remembered hearing before it all suddenly stopped. He felt people around him, his belt being unbuckled, and his death grip being moved out of the way. Light filtered through the back of his eyelids.

“Babe?” He could hear Alex's voice calling to him as he, unwillingly, he might add, opened his eyes. He was met with worried looks stamped on his friend’s faces. He was still shaking and his heart rate was wildly out of control, rapidly hammering against his ribcage. His legs felt numb and he just wanted to lie down and never wake up.

“Hey there, big guy. Let’s get you outta here, okay?” His boyfriend's gentle voice filled the room, and he was one hundred percent down with this, but he had no idea how he would achieve it; but once again all he knew was, that indeed he was led out of that death trap and onto a bench. A water bottle was shoved in front of him, and he gulped its contents greedily.

He had no idea how long they sat down together – Alex the only one remaining with him in what apparently was a group decision to give him space – eventually, he started feeling better as the gut-wrenching fear disappeared. 

Alex reached for his free hand, pulling it up all the way to his lips, placing a gentle warm kiss on the inside of his wrist. “

Are you feeling better now?” Alex asked, his voice still sounded worried.

Michael deeply exhaled through his nose, groaning quietly before giving his boyfriend a one-word answer. “Yes.”

“I don’t want to push, but babe, please tell me. What happened?” Alex, for someone so observant and smart, sometimes could be so blind. If he hadn’t almost had a heart attack minutes ago he would be astonished at the extent of Alex’s absent-mindedness.

“I really,  _ really _ don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to keep the distress out of his voice, getting up in an attempt to run from this conversation, but Alex’s light squeeze of his hands told him he wasn’t successful.

“Michael, please talk to me,” Alex urged helplessly. “You really scared me there.”

He finally looked at Alex then, his eyes revealing his reluctance and embarrassment. But he sighed and bit his lip. “Scary things? Not a fan.”

“That’s an understatement, Guerin.” Alex's voice faltered while trying to stop his choked-up laughter when he noticed Michael’s glare. “Sorry, sorry. I’m not laughing at you…” The asshole really was, and this was one of the reasons why Michael didn’t want to tell Alex,  _ ever _ . “Well, yeah, I kind of am, but just because I think it’s cute, and honestly, I'm kinda relieved. I thought you were sick or having a stroke or something.”

He chose to willingly ignore the last comment. “ _ Bleh, bleh, bleh _ I think it’s cute,” Michael mocked, trying to pull away from his boyfriends’ grip, making Alex laugh even harder at his antics; but before he could fully grasp himself out of it. Alex gently pulled Michael to him, tucking his head into his neck.

“Scared of scary things,” Alex told him, his warm breath tickling Michael's nape. “How cliché for an alien cowboy like you.” He teased, kissing the side of Michael's neck in a clear (and wildly successful) attempt to appease him.

Michael grunted in response, still pressing his face into Alex’s silky black hair, breathing in his soothing fragrance. The smell of warm cinnamon apples Alex seemed to carry around always had a calming effect on him.

“Hey,” Alex nuzzled his nose against Michael’s jaw. “I know I teased you,” Alex said, his tone distressed. “But it’s okay that you’re scared, babe. You shoulda just told me,” Michael’s eyes were now staring intensely at Alex’s dark ones. “I hate knowing that I dragged you into something that made you so frightened you had a panic attack.” Alex bit his lip contritely, something Michael should have not found as adorable and sexy.

“No, Alex,” Michael argued helplessly, hugging Alex while he gently rubbed his face into the other man’s hair. “Don’t be upset. I was being stupid,” He grimaced, this whole ordeal is a bigger emotional roller-coaster than he expected. “I just.... I really wanted to do this for you, because you love it so much, and –” Please, God help him not to die from embarrassment. “I really didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of you.” There he said it, hoping the ground would open a hole and swallow him.

He could feel the smile Alex was fighting against his jawline. “That is both very sweet and ridiculous.” Michael must admit that ‘sweet’ wasn’t that bad. He could even live with ridiculous if Alex persuaded him enough.

“Yeah?” He asked the dark-haired man in front of him, giving him his best winning smile, hoping to make Alex’s heart flutter.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, sliding his hands down the length of Michael’s arms before intertwining their fingers together and resting his head against the taller man’s shoulder.

“Oh, and don’t worry, Guerin.” A roguish grin crossed Alex’s face. “I’ll protect you.” Alex, the cheeky -and unbearably sexy - idiot had the gall to wink.

He should really have swatted Alex’s round, perfectly shaped ass right then, but they were in a family park and Michael would rather not be kicked out for public indecency.

“I should really punish you for that later,” He whispered in Alex’s ear, sending chills to the other man’s toes. Alex swallowed audibly, a light blush catching on his tanned cheeks. Michael found the whole thing highly endearing.

“How about we play some games?” Alex suggested lightly, sobering up and pulling Michael by the hand. A gentle loving smile was playing on his lips. Michael, being an idiot in love, couldn't help but lean in for a kiss.

He pressed his lips against Alex’s aware that his are slightly dry; but Alex’s lips are soft and wet. His boyfriend’s breath hitches for a moment in surprise, but then he pushes forward, his nose brushing against Michael’s as he tilts his head slightly for a better angle. 

Alex’s tongue traced against his lips a moment before he pushed it forward slightly, but pulling back quickly so as to not deepen it too much. Michael groaned deeply in dismay, making Alex chuckle mid-kiss. His other hand started to trail upwards, his fingers grazed against Alex's warm side as the shirt rucked up with his touch. He delved his tongue into Alex's open mouth, groaning again when their tongues brushed against each other. But before their kiss could progress from sweet to filthy, Alex pulled away and Michael could help but pout.

"We're in public, you silly goose!" Alex protested with a bright grin, eyes alight, "I'm not– we can't do that here. C'mon," he cleared his throat, trying to bring himself back into a state that was decent for being in public, "C'mon, let's find a stall so you can throw something at all alpha-male like and win me a stuffed animal."

They strolled lazily and quietly towards the game booths, enjoying each other’s company, taking in the cold, crisp air of the night. Michael could feel lightness come back to his limbs, all the stress from the Horrorland around them almost forgotten.

It did help that where they were, apart from some awfully intricate alien invasion decoration, – with a sickening amount of neon green and purple glowing slime – in this section of the park that was free of rides and cast members dressed in blood-curdling costumes.

_ Yikes. _

Lost in thought, Michael almost bumped into Alex’s back. The other man stopped dead in his tracks and Michael furrowed his brows, his eyes frantically searching around them for anything suspicious. Or as suspicious, it could get in a theme park.

Finally, his eyes zero in what has caught Alex’s attention:  [ a giant, bright green alien plush with a holographic hooded cape ](https://picclick.com/Large-30-Alien-Plush-From-Area-51-Roswell-322472939534.html) . In one of his paw-like feet, he could read the words “Roswell NM” in bold black letters.

Michael knew deep in his heart that this gruesome and honestly offensive depiction of an alien was exactly the kind of ‘cute’ thing Alex was searching for and Michael was going to be the alien idiot that would win it for him.

The things he did for love.

He doesn’t regret a single one of them.

He snorts for good measure and turns to Alex. “Like something you see?” His voice was laced with indulgence. The other man locked eyes with him, a mischievous smile lighting up to his eyes.

“Come on Guerin.” And once more he is being dragged by his over-eager boyfriend to the booth, but this time as they reach their destination Michael steps in front of Alex, handing over the tickets in exchange for a turn at the task. His demeanor showing Alex he meant business.

“Are you sure you're up for this, cowboy?” Alex's voice is filled with mirth, clearly baiting him.

“Oh, you are so  _ on _ , Manes.” He can hardly contain the boyish delight that took over his body at the challenge.

\------

He should have known that these carnival games were rigged.

There he was trying to win Alex that stupid alien plush (without his powers, he would like to point out) and he has no idea how much money he has spent so far – and he feels like it has been more than the actual monstrosity is worth – but now is a matter of dignity winning Alex this blasted thing, the amount of money he spends be damned.

“Michael, let it go, c'mon, it's really not that big of a deal.” His boyfriend assured him. “I think I saw a hoodie over there with a huge alien head on the front and I really want one.” Alex pleaded with him.

While he had no doubt that Alex did see that hoodie and wanted one so he could wear it around the house with only boxers on and giggle in his general direction like the bewitching, evil flirt that he is, he is also sure he is only saying that in an attempt to help Michael save face and get him off the booth after thirty tries.

Not a chance in hell he is leaving without the toy now.

“Yes, it really is, Alex.” Michael answered, exasperation strung through his tone as he took a breath and scowled at the offending stall. “I am going to get you that stupid, unnecessarily huge, plush alien you want and I will march out of this godforsaken park victorious.” He smashed his fist on the booth table, shoving the new dollar bills down.

The guy in the black and white shirt running the stall wasn't technically supposed to take literal money, only tickets, but Michael was pretty sure that he'd worked out by now that stopping him on a technicality wouldn't end well for anyone. He did keep raising his judgy eyebrows though, smothering a self-satisfied smile every time Michael cursed himself out for failing at a rigged game, though. 

_ Jackass. _

Alex better appreciate how sweet he is being by trying this hard to get that stupid thing that he will be forced to share a bed with at least tonight while Alex joyfully snuggles with his ironic prize and leaves him to fend for himself on his side of the bed.

Michael took a deep breath and set all his focus in the game. He tries to block the sounds around them and Alex’s general aura of exasperation and amusement. He wound up his arm, squinting his eyes to aim before throwing the ring once more. The seconds it takes to reach its destination pass in like slow motion movie to Michael. The smacking noise of the rim on the bottle mocked him once again. He throws his hands up in the air in absolute frustration.

“Anytime now, Michael.” Alex teased, probably trying a whole new approach to get him to give up on this. But he would not be answering Alex’s siren call this time.

_ Fuck it _ , he thought to himself. He was absolutely going to use his powers to beat this game and no one, not even Alex, would know. This game clearly wasn’t meant to be won and Michael would not be welcoming people’s opinion on the matter, thank you very much.

Alex chuckled. 

“It’s not funny.” He mumbled back.

“Oh, it is.” Alex taunted.

“Fine, this is gonna be my last shot. If I don’t win, I walk, ‘kay?” He knew he was going to make it this time, but he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to be dramatic about winning at the very last minute like a conquering underdog hero.

“Deal,” Alex replied, getting down from the booth’s counter, smoothing down his pants, ready to leave.

Michael made a show of intensely looking at his target, taking a deep breath and adjusting his footing. He picked the ring and gently tossed in the direction of the bottle, this time controlling the ring’s path with his mind, wrapping around the biggest, furthest bottle.

He whooped with excitement, rendering both Alex and the booth keeper shocked with the turn of events. He lost no time and picked Alex up and spun him around once, much to the disinterest of the man behind the booth.

“You did it,” Alex whispered, amazed, but a peal of delicious laughter soon rang past his lips. “My hero,” He gazed lovingly into Michael's eyes, leaning in for a quick kiss on the lips in reward for his efforts.

“Do you want your prize?” The man asked, and Michael turned to him dumbfounded. The gall this guy had to ask that like he wasn't a private spectator to Michael’s efforts to win the stupid stuffed alien.

“Yes,” Alex quickly filled in pointing up at the green alien as if the man had forgotten. A light blush spread through the dark-haired man's cheeks, his eyes shining with childish excitement.

He really would do anything to see Alex looking this _ precious _ .

“Happy?” Michael asked as they made their way out of the booth, wrapping his arms around Alex, as the man clutched the ridiculous sized stuffed animal on his other side like a lifeline.

“ _ Uhum _ ,” Alex sing-songed in reply, a big smile taking over his facial expression. “You totally used your powers, didn’t you?” Alex’s smile was so big now, Michael was sure it was going to rip on the edges.

“No!” He gasped in fake hurt. “Do you think it would have taken me that many tries if I did?” He stopped walking in the middle of the busy corridor, his hand still deep in Alex's back pocket. “Do you think so little of your awesome boyfriend that absolutely made an idiot out of himself to get you an ugly-ass alien plushie like a normal human?”

Alex squinted his eyes, looking deeply into his. “I guess…” He didn’t sound convinced, but the night was young and there was no way he would spend more time than necessary in this horrible place, so he really could change Alex’s mind with a little bit of cajoling.

“Exactly!” He exclaimed. “Now, where is all my gratitude?” He closed his eyes and leaned in Alex space, earning him a chuckle from the man.

“Thank you,” Alex answered him back. “I love it,” He felt Alex give a quick peck at his both cheeks and he had to fight a smile. “I will cherish it forever,” Alex's voice was adoring before he peppered all around Michael’s face with little kisses, ultimately making him smile and shiver.

He opened his eyes, making sure all his love could be conveyed through them. “I love you,” He muttered as he rested his forehead into Alex’s. 

“And I love you, you silly alien.”

\-------

Rosa’s delighted giggled ringed loudly over the park crowd, followed by Liz’s and Isobel’s buoyant screams at the sight of the two of them making their way towards the group.

“Please,” Rosa’s excited voice began, “tell me that you made Michael win this for you.” Her eyes sparkled with mirth. The concept of an alien playing some silly game to win his boyfriend an alien plush was the exact kind of humor Rosa lived for.

“Yeap,” Alex answered with a pop on the ‘p’, completely proud of his achievement. Michael could not help but roll his eyes adoringly. Her head bent back with full-body laughter.

“How am I supposed to compete with that?” Max exclaimed loudly; his humor clearly affected by this turn of events. Michael shot his brother a wolfish grin.

“Don’t be a baby, Max,” Rosa nipped. “I am sure my sister can lick your wounds.” Now it was Rosa’s turn to smirk. Like that interaction never happened, her attention was back on him and Alex, determined to milk all the jokes this situation could give.

“This is the best thing ever. I need a picture of this.” She exclaimed loudly, frantically searching in her bag for her phone.

“You better watch out, little brother,” Isobel said. “Alex might have finally found the alien for him.” Her lips curled into a vicious smirk.

“You are just jealous Alex is the only one with a giant plush and not you.” He grinned back and Isobel stuck her tongue out, distinctively making his point for him. Looking to his side, Alex was talking cheerfully to Liz, clutching his alien close to him, making Michael smile at the scene.

Despite what it felt like a train wreck of an evening, Alex had a happy smile playing on his lips, a light contentment about his mood, indicating that after everything that went down they still had a great time together, and if love is a losing game, Michael would lose it every time to make Alex happy.

\-------------

One could already guess that Alex does very much loved his new alien plush and not only slept with him on the bed that very night, but the nights that followed for a  _ month _ until it’s mysterious disappearance and  _ no, it was not me, Alex, for god’s sake stop asking _ even though we all know that in fact, it was very much one Michael Guerin that did burn the godforsaken, ugly thing one day, out in the back, while Alex was not home, because if there is one alien that gets to sleep curled around Alex, it was him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that is it folks! I hope you guys enjoyed reading and feel free to leave a comment below!
> 
> Join me at poeedamerons on tumblr so we can cry over the perfection that is Alex Manes and the other three thousand thins I am obsessed with!


End file.
